Dating Advice From A Happily Married Guy

Ever since I got married I have had some very interesting interactions with single guys trying to attract and/or ask out single girls.  On more than one occasion I have literally found myself right in the middle of the line of fire when some poor sap is trying to ask out a girl who clearly (and unfortunately in most cases) is not interested.  One of those experiences happened today.

I had finally trudged my way up to the beautiful campus at Utah State University after locking my keys in my car (I guess it was just that kind of day) and was hopping in an elevator to head to my second class of the day.  Within seconds I was joined by a young man who was squarely in the middle of asking out the young lady who was entering the elevator with him.  After a fleeting look that clearly said, "Seriously?! In an elevator with a complete stranger standing RIGHT THERE?!?!?!"  I attempted to blend in, which, you may not be surprised to hear, is a difficult thing to do in an 8 foot by 8 foot metal box that is shockingly well lit.  The conversation ended something like this (my thoughts in italics):

"...yeah, so if you wanted to go with me that would be cool.  It should be pretty fun." he said, clearly proud of himself.

"Oh, yeah... Yes. That, uh... that sounds great. It... it sounds really fun." she said while simultaneously searching her excuses database.

"Seriously? Give this guy a break and just say 'no'!"

She continued, "Just, uh...let me check my schedule..."

"Sure. Check your schedule. Here, I'll check it for you. Oh! You're not available that night?! Shocker."

"...and then I'll call you." 

At this point the girl girl actually glanced over at me as if to ask for help.  The guy, on the other hand, could not have been more pleased with himself.

"Oh! Great! Yeah! Just let me know as soon as you know."

"Act more excited dude, seriously."

The elevator stopped and the three of us exited.  She gripped her books and took off down the right hallway. I smiled and then chuckled enough to be unintentionally noticed by the guy.  "What?  Is something funny?" he said, laughing a little himself.  "Oh, no... nope."  We started to walk.  

Now, for those of you that know me you know that I tend to keep to myself in most social situations.  I prefer to just sit back and watch.  After all, the more you talk the more likely you are to eventually stick your foot in your mouth and I am not particularly fond of the taste of feet; however, my lack of verbal interaction allows me to sit back and observe.  If you haven't already noticed what I had noticed, let me tell you.

It just so happened that this guy started walking in the same direction that I was walking.  The differences between this guy and myself continued to express themselves because he started talking to me as we walked.  Apparently my proximity to him during the most important interaction of his life made us fast friends. 

"So, where are you heading?" he asked, confident to start a new conversation.

"I'm just on my way to the Engineering Building."

"Me too.  I'm an engineering major.  Almost done.  What about you?"

At this point we had walked a fairly good distance from the business building and the young lady was long gone.

"Yeah, I'm almost done with Psychology."  I paused and stopped walking.  He stopped. "You didn't give that girl your phone number, did you?"

He stopped dead and his happy-go-lucky smile was betrayed by the frustrated "hand-through-the-hair" gesture.  He looked back down the now overcrowded walkway with a fanatic look in his eyes, then he looked back at me.

"Go get 'em." I said with a shadow of a wink before he bolted back through the crowd, "She's got a pretty good head start by now anyway."