So My Brother is an Axe Murderer

If I were a company my PR people would have this statement in a file on their desktop, ready to send out almost daily.  And that is; I do not remember the events mentioned about me as they were portrayed, however, I do not deny that they happened as The Golden Child said.  I don't remember giving him the full moon, but it does sound like something I would do.  Because, come on...mooning people is hilarious.  But, why would John deserve such an act?  Let me give you one story of note:

Our childhood was full of playing outside and soaking in the sun of countless afternoons either at the park, or in one of our three yards (Front, Side, and Back).  I loved those times, running around, happy and carefree.

Before I continue, I need to point out how big golfing is in my family.  My father and all of his brothers can hold their own in a golf game, and we all enjoy playing a round or two on occasion.

Back to the carefree days of endless summer as a child, I don't quite remember how old I was (for reasons that will soon be apparent) but I was under the age of 6.  Playing in the front yard, I was very content playing on my own, my imagination was endless and when one or both of my brothers joined in, it usually just turned into a wrestling match.  Now I have to be honest, I don't remember how it came to this, but my first recollection was John approaching me, nine iron in hand, wanting to play a game.  The next thing I remember is being backed down the side yard, fence to my right, fence leading to the back yard behind me, the house to my left, and right in front of me was something like this

Do you remember the scene where Chip the teacup fires up Maurice's wood chopping invention and charges down the hill to chop the cellar door to splinters?  My role in this scene was turning into that of the cellar door.  John would make a vertical swing with the nine iron at me, I would dexterously make a backwards dodge bringing me closer and closer to the fence.  He would pull the head of the club from the ground, advance and swing again.  The whole time I was pleading him to stop, after five or six swings he replied "Dan it's just a game!" and that next swing.....game over.  He connected with the very top of my head bringing me to my knees.  My vision wend blurry with tears, and I pressed my hands to my head, when I pulled my hands off to inspect they were red with blood, it dripped from my hair down my face, streaked down my arms form where my hands had been pressed on the wound.  To his credit, John ran in to the basement and retrieved for me a generous supply of...paper towels, four paper towels, to be exact.  And in brownie point preserving fashion implored me not to tell Mom.  Ensuring me we could clean everything up.....riiiight.  That would become the first of many scars to adorn my head, all with wonderful memories.

Maurice's machine. N.d. Photograph. Disney WikiWeb. 25 Aug 2013. <http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Maurice's_Machine?file=images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111203000802/disney/images/d/d9/Beauty-disneyscreencaps.com-8144.jpg>.