The Christmas Song That Was Forever Changed

One of the great things about sharing a blog with your brother is that there are a lifetime of stories to tell where both of us were involved.  Some stories change based on the point of view of the individual.  The following story really only has one point of view... and it was mortifying.

It had to have been the winter of 2003 because I was in my Junior year of high school.  A few days prior to the infamous event school had let out for the Christmas Holiday and I found myself at the computer one morning working on homework.  If you are shocked that I was working on homework during Christmas break please read the first two posts on this blog.  It's what I do.  I'm the Golden Child.  Anyway, I was anxiously engaged and making good progress toward finishing this project that was due at some point in the middle of January (I made a habit of turning in assignments early because, well... you know).  I had just finished a large portion of the project and I began to read over it again to see if it all made sense (of course, it did).

Now, as I remember it, I was sitting in the kitchen/dining room area where our computer was and I happened to be by myself; however, it is possible that our mother was in the living room knitting bandages for burn victims which would then be sent out in humanitarian kits.  Yeah, I know, she's great.  Regardless of who was in the vicinity, I would be the only victim.  My eyes were fixed to the screen as I heard a soft ruffling noise from down the hall.  Some nocturnal beast was stumbling from his bed and making his way toward the kitchen.  Knowing what I know now I would have given anything to have my eyes remain fixed to the screen. Alas...

As The Baby slowly lumbered down the hallway the prelude to the current song on our classic Christmas carols CD ended, but a new type of lewd was about to begin.  Never have more beautiful lyrics been followed by such an atrocity as Bing Crosby crooned "Said the night wind to the little lamb..."  and I glanced up to see my little brother turn on his heel, drop his shorts, bend over, and sing along, "...do you see what I see?!"  The grace of his heel turn and simultaneous pants drop was matched only by the effortless way in which he moved his bare bottom in quick counter-clockwise circles as he sang.  Like some kind of x-rated metronome he somehow kept perfect time. 

It was all over faster than it had begun.  "A star! A star! Dancing in the night!..." (ironic follow up lyrics) echoed in my head as my vision swam in front of me.  Four beats later he was gone.  Pants were once again on hips, the classic Christmas song (now forever changed) continued to play, he lumbered back down the hallway to bed, and life moved on for everyone... well, almost everyone (shudder).