Reemergence

GASP!  Man, that fresh air tastes good!  The last half of a semester can really smother you if you are not careful.  I, apparently, was not careful and I got a little bit smothered.  Not to worry!  Everything turned out fine and, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, I am back!

The good news: in the time between my last post and now I have taken up oil painting, the NBA started, and Oklahoma City is (believe it or not) better than expected!

The bad news: I ran out of razors about a week and a half ago and came to realization that The Baby - a distant second in most categories - can easily out-beard me any day of the week. (Sigh... This makes him more desirable than I am to play the role of Russell Crowe in "The Life of Russell Crowe")

The Baby has recently prodded me a little bit because I have not been posting recently, so, feeling bad, I decided that I would get back on and submit a post.  I logged into the blog account and saw that, while it is true that I have not posted for a while, The Baby has not posted either for a solid month, so I do not feel so bad anymore.

Oddly enough, what I wanted to post about today is similar to something that he posted in late September.  If you are unfamiliar with The Holstee Manifesto, I recommend that you read it.  The Holstee Manifesto a poster that is essentially made up of inspiring, "get-off-your-duff" statements and it is designed to inspire the very best from whoever reads it.  While I do not think that it is necessarily good advice to just quit your job if you don't like it, the idea is great - this is your life and if you are not sitting in the driver's seat you are never going to end up where you want to be.  You'll always just end up wherever the current driver takes you. 

I think that this analogy is interesting because I believe that sometimes it can be appropriate to "just be along of the ride" with the proviso that the driver is going where you ultimately want to go.  If you bump into someone who might make a great business partner because he or she shares your same goals, jump on in, take turns driving, and make sure that you're not the only one paying for gas!

The point is that we all have one life, so why not spend it finding out what we love and then doing what we love?  What is stopping us from making our dreams come true once we have a clear vision of what those dreams are?  I challenge you to open your eyes and really think about what you love, and once you have that clear vision, go get it.

My....well our love for Halloween

Now I usually don't DARE speak for the Golden Child, but on this rare occasion I may say that our interests are exactly the same...we LOVE Halloween!

Ever since before we were born our dear mother had a knack for crafts and making adorable decorations out of wood.  She would often get together with some of her friends and get design ideas from the endless volumes of craft books she had.  They would plan, the plot, cut, and paint the best holiday decorations for every season.  I believe that from this unparalleled holiday fervor sprang our delight and excitement for every single holiday during the year.

Halloween, every child's dream, FREE CANDY!  I remember being so excited for "Halloween Season".  Countless cobwebs and scary scenes strewn about the house.  It seemed like every year we had a new addition to our festive collection, one year I even endeavored to mimic my mother and her crafty-ness by making a decorative bat.....no it doesn't fly on its own or light up but it's dang cute!  I honestly have hundreds of Halloween stories I could tell ranging from walking miles to a mansion just to get the prized King Sized candy bars, to getting my candy stolen by some jerk when I was 7 years old.  But let's focus on the now.  Here I am, a college student in my twenties, but instead of making wooden bats my projects have evolved to my costume.

I took a small poll from friends before this past Halloween and was baffled to see how many of them (how many of YOU) weren't planning on dressing up for school on Halloween.  It seems common sense to me, a free pass to be whatever I want for a day...you better believe I'll take the bull by the horns and live it up!

To all you dear readers, you may already know (from previous posts) what I was going to be, and to the rest of you...you'll soon find out.  I'll stop beating around the bush and just show you what I mean.  This is what my Halloween 2013 consisted of

I went into a random class of over 450 students dressed as Clark Kent, after about 15 minutes my phone rang out the classic Superman Theme.  Answering the call of a citizen in distress: "What?....Where......?  I'm on my way!" And up, up and AWAY!  You're NEVER to old to celebrate your favorite holidays, you just need to be creative, and yes, aside from the 15 minutes of that class, I did wear my Superman costume the whole day.

midterms

All right people.  I decided I was going to get back on this whole blog thing once midterms were over, surprise, they're never over.  Ha ha, just after a shotgun blast of tests in a week there is always one lingering around the corner...or a project.....or both.  I mean seriously, it never ends.  Or so it seems.

From the age...0 until about 6 or 7 my siblings could convince me to do just about anything.  Which is pretty much why we have about half of theses stories to tell.  "Hey, let's get Dan to do (insert dangerous activity)".  This experience followed that same blueprint, oh what humble beginnings.

I spent countless blissful summers on a lake near my hometown, and to this day it remains my favorite location on the planet.  Like most days, I would swim and fish, swim, and swim some more.  My brothers, sister and I would take rides on the boat, and try and get as close to death as possible being whipped around on an inflatable tube with the force of about 12 g's (to experience similar force, take a max speed banked turn in a fighter jet).  Invariably the day would come to a close and we would adorn our conglomeration of assorted sweatshirts, all of which were far to big, and would often cover us down to our knees.  Waiting for dinner to be ready, us boys would wander around looking for new adventures.  We, and by we I mean my two older brothers coerced me into, playing a classic game of Dan Go Stand on The Dock and See if We Can Hit Him.  (I say classic because this game happened more often than I would like to admit.)  And so it begun, I would walk back and forth like the little ducks you see at a carnival midway with a target painted right on the flank.  Rocks would rain down from the sky, seldom ever hitting the dock on which I was standing.  I was in more danger of getting splashed than getting hit thanks to both of my brothers being little sissies :)  But as the age old saying goes, "even a blind squirrel can find a nut..."  In came a comet, but WAY to high to hit me.  It banged against the tin roof of the cabin and I made a taunting gesture towards my assailants on the shore sticking my tongue out "Nah nah, can't hit me!"  Little did I know how close my life would come to that of the great physicist Newton, for I would also discover the power of gravity, hands on.  The rock took its course, rolling down the slanted roof until it took off like a ski jump and SMACK!  Right on the top of my head.  "AHHH!" I yelped, almost losing my balance into the water.  All I heard was an eruption of laughter echo across the water from the shore.  Boys will be boys, and that for sure was not the last of our shenanigans!

Self empowerment

That's to the "Challenge" that was made to me in an earlier post.  Pshhh I mean come on, why wouldn't you take a bet that is a guaranteed win.

On my first day of kindergarten I walked to school, since it was only a bloc and a half away from the first house of my childhood.  Since I was in the afternoon session, I came in about lunchtime for my brothers (both of them attending the same Lena Whitmore Elementary School.  I was excited to explore this great new world (I remember being twice as excited since I got out of school at the same time as my older brothers).  Was I out of my comfort zone?  Sure thing.  Did I LOVE my time there?  I look back at my years walking those halls and running on that playground fondly.  What am I getting at here?  People, I know for a fact I had some rough days, I remember getting sent to the principle's office on several occasions, walking home, hands shaking with fear because I KNEW I was in so much trouble with every adult in my life.  BUT that's not what matters most.  What matters most is what we've accomplished in our lives.

Why not be positive?  You've done so much already.  If you're reading this you have access to the internet, and the world is yours.  Feel empowered, because you have the ability to do great things.  From kindergarten to now, look at what you've done.  Leave a comment about something you did in your life.  From overcoming your fear and sharing something for show and tell in the first grade.  Or mustering the courage to raise your hand for the first time in class.  It's all about the little things here, and they all count.  Why am I so positive....why not?

Dating Advice From A Happily Married Guy

Ever since I got married I have had some very interesting interactions with single guys trying to attract and/or ask out single girls.  On more than one occasion I have literally found myself right in the middle of the line of fire when some poor sap is trying to ask out a girl who clearly (and unfortunately in most cases) is not interested.  One of those experiences happened today.

I had finally trudged my way up to the beautiful campus at Utah State University after locking my keys in my car (I guess it was just that kind of day) and was hopping in an elevator to head to my second class of the day.  Within seconds I was joined by a young man who was squarely in the middle of asking out the young lady who was entering the elevator with him.  After a fleeting look that clearly said, "Seriously?! In an elevator with a complete stranger standing RIGHT THERE?!?!?!"  I attempted to blend in, which, you may not be surprised to hear, is a difficult thing to do in an 8 foot by 8 foot metal box that is shockingly well lit.  The conversation ended something like this (my thoughts in italics):

"...yeah, so if you wanted to go with me that would be cool.  It should be pretty fun." he said, clearly proud of himself.

"Oh, yeah... Yes. That, uh... that sounds great. It... it sounds really fun." she said while simultaneously searching her excuses database.

"Seriously? Give this guy a break and just say 'no'!"

She continued, "Just, uh...let me check my schedule..."

"Sure. Check your schedule. Here, I'll check it for you. Oh! You're not available that night?! Shocker."

"...and then I'll call you." 

At this point the girl girl actually glanced over at me as if to ask for help.  The guy, on the other hand, could not have been more pleased with himself.

"Oh! Great! Yeah! Just let me know as soon as you know."

"Act more excited dude, seriously."

The elevator stopped and the three of us exited.  She gripped her books and took off down the right hallway. I smiled and then chuckled enough to be unintentionally noticed by the guy.  "What?  Is something funny?" he said, laughing a little himself.  "Oh, no... nope."  We started to walk.  

Now, for those of you that know me you know that I tend to keep to myself in most social situations.  I prefer to just sit back and watch.  After all, the more you talk the more likely you are to eventually stick your foot in your mouth and I am not particularly fond of the taste of feet; however, my lack of verbal interaction allows me to sit back and observe.  If you haven't already noticed what I had noticed, let me tell you.

It just so happened that this guy started walking in the same direction that I was walking.  The differences between this guy and myself continued to express themselves because he started talking to me as we walked.  Apparently my proximity to him during the most important interaction of his life made us fast friends. 

"So, where are you heading?" he asked, confident to start a new conversation.

"I'm just on my way to the Engineering Building."

"Me too.  I'm an engineering major.  Almost done.  What about you?"

At this point we had walked a fairly good distance from the business building and the young lady was long gone.

"Yeah, I'm almost done with Psychology."  I paused and stopped walking.  He stopped. "You didn't give that girl your phone number, did you?"

He stopped dead and his happy-go-lucky smile was betrayed by the frustrated "hand-through-the-hair" gesture.  He looked back down the now overcrowded walkway with a fanatic look in his eyes, then he looked back at me.

"Go get 'em." I said with a shadow of a wink before he bolted back through the crowd, "She's got a pretty good head start by now anyway."

The Soundtrack To Our Lives

I have always really enjoyed the idea of the "soundtrack to your life" - there is always a group of songs that seamlessly meshes with your current circumstances and can relate really well with your life at the time.  The soundtrack changes as we grow, gain new experiences, and shift from different life stages.  For example, when I was in high school playing basketball the soundtrack consisted mostly of Metallica songs (because that is what always got me pumped up for basketball), but when track season rolled around the soundtrack featured "Rebel Rouser" by Duane Eddy because, thanks to Forrest Gump, that is the song that gets me the most pumped up for running.

There have been times in our lives when The Baby and I have had similar soundtracks; however, I was thinking about this the other day and I do not think that there has ever been a time when our soundtracks have been as different as they are right now.  A brief overview is in order:  Dan is an early-20's single dude, so his life consists of girls, school, free time, frolicking, girls, free time, a large amount of "do-whatever-you-wantery", and girls.  I am a late-20's married dude with two daughters under the age of 3, so my life consists of school, work, girls (but not in the same way), work, school, cardboard Batman costumes, and poopy diapers.  Now let's consider our different soundtracks (for the sake of length, our soundtracks have been reduced from 15 tracks to 6 tracks each).  My soundtrack is currently called "Tranquility for the Soul" while Dan's is called "Yahoo! That's Right! Blikity-BLAM!"

Track 1

John's Soundtrack: 

"Hey Me, Hey Mama" Ray LaMontagne.  This is a fun little calming song when you are taking a break between writing people up for insubordination and 4.5 hours of upper-level Psychology classes.

Dan's Soundtrack:

"Don't Stop The Sandman" Rock Sugar.  A perfect blend of "Enter Sandman" and "Don't Stop Believin'" This song is fantastic.  Perfect song for someone who is a little bit classy and a little bit rock n' roll.

Track 2

John's Soundtrack:

"The Wheels on the Bus" Various Artists.  My oldest daughter loves this song.  If you sing it once, be prepared to sing it 1,000 times.

Dan's Soundtrack:

"Girls, Girls, Girls" Motley Crue.  "Friday night and I need a fight/ My motorcycle and a switchblade knife/ Handful of grease in my hair feels right/ But what I need to make me tight are/ (chorus) Girls, Girls, Girls/ Long legs and burgundy lips/ Girls, Girls, Girls/ Dancin' down on Sunset Strip/ Girls, Girls, Girls/ Red lips, fingertips."  That seems about right.

Track 3

John's Soundtrack:

"Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Baker's Man" Various Artists/ Versions.  This song is great because it can be tailored to be about anyone.  Simply throw your name in at the end and all of a sudden that baker is making a cake for YOU, my friend.

Dan's Soundtrack:

"Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums" A Perfect Circle.  Hardcore and edgy, this is the song that a Viking warrior listens to before filling his helmet with the blood of a fallen enemy, jamming the helmet on his head, and then charging onto the field of battle on a horse made of lightning.

Track 4

John's Soundtrack:

"I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song" Jim Croce.  After a stressful day of jumping through hoops (a.k.a. school) and work this song calms me down more than anything, and it is one of Aimee's favorites.

Dan's Soundtrack:

"Easy Skanking" Bob Marley. Just kidding. :)

"Riding With The King" B.B. King & Eric Clapton.  I imagine Dan taking girls on dates and this phrase inevitably escapes his lips: "Don't you know you're ridin' with The King?" Not as "uppity" as his other songs. This is Dan's "calm down" song... sort of.

Track 5

John's Soundtrack:

"Tootie" Hootie & The Blowfish.  For some inexplicable reason this song has the second-most plays on my itunes right now.  Is it the way Darius Rucker (he's such a nice guy!) often indistinguishably croons, or is it the overwhelmingly calm melody that makes me listen to it over and over?  Maybe we'll never know.  All I know is that this song is fantastic.

Dan's Soundtrack:

"Everyday" Bon Jovi.  Incredibly, this is the only inside joke song on the list.  The very beginning of this song is perfect for Dan.  Just listen to the first 6 seconds.

Track 6

John's Soundtrack:

"Happy Trails" Van Halen.  Don't be fooled by the fact that this song is performed by Van Halen.  This is the best song to listen to right as you are leaving work.  Every day.  For the past two months.

Dan's Soundtrack:

"Shoot To Thrill" AC/DC (on repeat for most of the day).  Maybe it's because of the fact that if Dan were any superhero he would be Tony Stark/ Iron man, or maybe it's just because I picture Dan zipping around campus on his long board with this song blaring from the heavens and Dan screaming "YEEEE-OW!" right in the face of anyone in his proximity.  Take your pick.  This song has Dan's name plastered all over every note.

Most Difficult Omissions:

"Pusher Love Girl" Justin Timberlake

"I think It's Gonna Rain Today" Neil Diamond

"I Don't Want To Live On The Moon" Ernie from Sesame Street

"Shout" Disturbed

The Challenge...

This blog post is going to be a little bit out of the ordinary.  I am not going to write a whole lot about what is going on in my life right now.  I am here to issue a challenge to The Baby.

While Dan and I are united in the fact that we will both defend DC comics to the death against those sissies from Marvel, we share different views regarding who is the best Justice Leaguer.  Dan has always been a huge supporter of The Man of Steel while I have always backed The Dark Knight.  There is plenty of internet buzz right now concerning Batman and Superman with the summer 2015 movie on the distant horizon, so I thought that I would throw a little bit of fuel on the fire.

Here is the challenge: At some point before Halloween The Baby and I will duke it out as Batman and Superman and then we will post the video and pictures on this blog.  Our sister has volunteered to do all of the media coverage.

Does the Man of Steel dare test his fate against The Dark Knight?

School, school, school

While The Golden child has been receiving the glory and attention that comes from a beautiful addition to our ever-growing family.  I love my dear family, annnnd the girls keep coming.  I now have five BEAUTIFUL nieces.  For any of you who may have nephews from the age 0 to 5 years old...watch out for two reasons, 1) They are indeed beautiful. 2) I have a history of being VERY defensive of the women in my life.  That being said, I actually have some things to say about my life.

 I have started my Junior year at Utah State University, and I love it.  This school has so much to offer its students, I can hardly keep up with all the opportunities at my door.

For my whole life I have been one of those kids who has trouble sleeping before the first day of school from being so excited.  Although sleeping habits have changed now, I still enjoy school....except I can't seem to escape this conversation.  "Oh are you John Mosman's little brother?"  GAH!  I mean I expected it in Junior High, and High School, sure.  Hometown, siblings, same teachers, blah blah blah I get it.  But here?  Come on, 600 miles away from my beloved Moscow, Idaho and (I kid you not) TODAY a friend from John's mission stops me "Are you Dan?  John Mosman's little brother?"  Come on people.  But, in all honesty I invariably smile, and with pride answer, "Yes".  Welcome to another school year.

The Joys of Birth!

A lot of interesting things happen when you are having a new child.  I am not referring to the new family dynamics or the inevitable rivalry that arises between siblings (see this blog).  I am actually referring to the scene inside the delivery room.  My wife and I just had our second child (another little girl) and the delivery room this time around was a circus.

Our first child was born under relatively calm circumstances.  My wife was surrounded by an excellent supporting cast of nurses and our wonderful doctor while I lay on the nearby couch completely passed out (I do not do well in hospitals).  Boom!  Out came Brielle in all of her red-haired, blue-eyed, first child glory.  Some smelling salts and an orange juice later I was holding that precious little peanut and loving every minute.  Our second daughter, Mercedes Jane Mosman, came into this world under the watchful eye and pomp and circumstance of an entire room of people.  Imagine if the #1 college football team in the country had their starting quarterback go down the week before the national championship and had to start a wet-behind-the-ears freshman at quarterback for the BCS title.  Imagine if that quarterback was forcibly pushed out of the tunnel for player introductions.  The crowd is cheering, the eyes of the nation are on this poor guy, and then he looks down to find himself completely naked.  That is what I imagine it was like for little Sadie.

My wife was induced, so it's not like we weren't prepared for the actual birth of the child.  We had plenty of time to prepare and I can tell you that we were ready, but because of the previous fainting episode (I am told that I can thank my great-grandpa for that) my wife decided that she wanted to have more people in the room for delivery.  By the time my wife was ready to start pushing we had a whole mess of nurses, our excellent doctor, my mother-in-law, my mother, my wife's grandmother, and a random male intern who apparently wandered in to see what the fuss was about.  I took up my reserved spot on the couch, layed down, and tried not to let my curiosity get the best of me (one quick glance of blood or even thinking about blood and I would have been akl;hgophhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbn... sorry, I passed out on the keyboard).

It has been said many times that opposites attract.  I am not sure that that is true in every case, but I can say with confidence that the differences between Aimee and I were very apparent in the mannerisms of our mothers for the duration of the birth.  I want to keep this post relatively short, and since pictures say 1,000 words I am choosing to illustrate the differences between my mom and Aimee's mom during the birth with the following pictures:

My mom:

                            

   

Aimee's mom:

                                

While my mom thankfully looks nothing like Gregg Popovich and she is a wonderful and pleasant woman, this picture perfectly portrays her mannerisms during the delivery.  While Aimee's mom cheered, laughed, bounced around the room like a pin ball, and set a new world record for "Longest 10-Count In Human History" my mom stood right behind the doctor with her arms folded and just observed the proceedings.  You know the look on your face when you are sitting at your computer reading through the 10-page terms of agreement for your newly updated version of itunes?  That was my mom.

Contractions start to pick up a little bit and it's time to start pushing.  Aimee's mom is up by Aimee's head, so the nurse instructs her to count to ten while Aimee pushes.  The nurse tells Aimee to push and my mother-in-law starts to count.  I think that most of us have counted to ten "Mississippi-ly", but this was my first experience with someone counting to ten "Every-State-East-of-the-Mississippi-ly" because, by the time I'd reached the number 10 counting in my head, I heard my mother-in-law say, "...Two!"  After the second interval of pushing for "ten seconds" Aimee had spent roughly 20 minutes pushing and I think the nurse noticed that she was getting a little tired and turned to my mother-in-law and kindly said, "We need to speed up the counting." :)

The next contributor to the maddness was our amazing doctor.  Aimee and I LOVE this guy.  To be perfectly honest, one of the reasons that we decided to be induced on the due date was because this doctor had informed us the he would be going out of town for the weekend and we did not want to have the baby without him on the receiving end.  He really is that good.  So, we made sure that everything would be fine and we decided to be induced.  One of the things that really impresses us about this particular doctor is his calming presence.  He walks into the room and everything is going to be fine.  Another thing that we love about him is the fact that he has a story for every situation.  Aimee had been pushing for a little while now and our new daughter was beginning to, uh, make her way out.  She, Aimee, had pushed until the baby's head had cleared and that apparently was the end of that session of pushing because our doctor announced that the baby's head was here and then he folded his arms, sat back in his chair, and started to tell a story.  The guy looked like he was at a family BBQ or something.  Leaning back in his chair, smile on his face, humorous anecdote escaping his lips while my wife lays back on the elevated hospital bed with my brand new daughter's head just hangin' out!  Awesome.

We were very fortunate and happy to have so many people come and support us in this beautiful life event.

                     

 

Late Night Poetry

Lately I just have not been able to sleep.  I don't know why!  It is driving me nuts.  So, in an effort to outlet some creativity I wrote this poem last night:

One night as I lie awake in my bed, 

I could not get the worry out of my head!

I tossed and turned and flipped and flopped, 

but that little old worry just never stopped

filling up the space in my head.

I sat and I stewed and I lost all my sleep,

Just sitting wide awake I started to weep.

I bit off my nails and scratched my head

and worried that I'd never get back to bed

with all the worry filling the space in my head.

And then in that moment when I felt so tattered

I thought of all the people that really mattered

And all of their love, Oh what a blessing!

When you sit and you wonder and  think and ponder

And realize you had all the right worries about all the wrong things.

The Legend of Sleep Hollow

Most people have a favorite myth or legend that they have heard in their lifetime.  I grew up with a mother that LOVED Halloween, so my attention was drawn to The Legend of Sleepy Hollow at a very young age.  I am still waiting for an acceptable big screen version to surface since the Disney animated version (narrated by "The Moon Crooner" himself, Bing Crosby) stopped being scary about a year ago (ha!) and Tim Burton's attempt was just... well.  Anyway, I'm talking to you, Warner Brothers.  2017's "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" starring Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Hugh Jackman, and Jessica Chastain as Katrina Van Tassel would dazzle audiences nation wide.  This needs to happen.  Regardless of whether or not Warner Brothers wants to do that movie, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was always a favorite.  I think that imaginations of the tale reached an all-time low on a dark knight in Lewiston, ID when I was in late elementary school (maybe early Jr. High...)

I remember that my whole family had gone down to Lewiston from Moscow, but I do not remember specifically what brought us down there.  It may have been that we were just visiting our, uh, cousins, The Stellmons (I'll attempt to explain our close relationship with the Stellmons in a future post).  I may not remember exactly why we were down there, but I do remember some pretty vivid details of what happened.  I think the memory sticks out so boldly in my mind because it was the first time that I can recall being included in the activities of the older group of cousins.  They were heading out to play some night games and somehow my cousin, Carver, and I were invited to come along.  I remember being ecstatic and I am sure that Carver was as well.  The games progressed as you would expect night games to go.  We played various forms of tag and a few variations of some hide-and-seek games.  As always with the Stellmons there were plenty of moments of humor, but Carver and I took center stage as we headed back to the cars to return home.

Now, Carver was born with a condition (I cannot at this time remember what it is called) that hinders his ability to bend his knees and elbows.  Despite this, Carver Stellmon is one of the best little league third basemen I have ever seen.  Carver and I were always close and so, in situations that perhaps required a little more speed, Carver would jump on my back and off I would go (I don't give Carver nearly enough credit for my later successes in track and field).  Generally when I would run around with Carver on my back he would treat me like a human.  I honestly can't tell you what made him change his mind on this occasion, but he did.  Carver jumped up on my back and off we went across the field toward the cars.  We apparently wanted to be the first ones there despite the fact that neither of us could drive.  As I galloped out in front of the group Carver suddenly yelled, "The headless horseman rides again!" and then he spurred me in the legs with his heels as he would a horse.  

Now, (sigh) horses and humans are built differently.  While spurring a horse might compel the horse to run faster, spurring a human just interferes with the normal running motion of his or her legs.  All it took was one swift kick and I started to stumble. Stumbling while carrying another human being on your back is a lot different than stumbling all by yourself. As I sit and recall the event I am forced to conclude that Carver must have been leaning back as best he could all while pulling on my throat to try to stabilize me. The reason for coming to this conclusion is that I remember being parallel to the ground in a state of "perpetual falling" for approximately two hours. I flailed, balanced, lurched forward, flailed, balanced, brushed the cold grass with my hand and then crashed face-first into the ground. I am pretty sure that we found Carver some fifty feet away unconscious and danglingn from a tree. The headless horseman rides again indeed.

So My Brother is an Axe Murderer

If I were a company my PR people would have this statement in a file on their desktop, ready to send out almost daily.  And that is; I do not remember the events mentioned about me as they were portrayed, however, I do not deny that they happened as The Golden Child said.  I don't remember giving him the full moon, but it does sound like something I would do.  Because, come on...mooning people is hilarious.  But, why would John deserve such an act?  Let me give you one story of note:

Our childhood was full of playing outside and soaking in the sun of countless afternoons either at the park, or in one of our three yards (Front, Side, and Back).  I loved those times, running around, happy and carefree.

Before I continue, I need to point out how big golfing is in my family.  My father and all of his brothers can hold their own in a golf game, and we all enjoy playing a round or two on occasion.

Back to the carefree days of endless summer as a child, I don't quite remember how old I was (for reasons that will soon be apparent) but I was under the age of 6.  Playing in the front yard, I was very content playing on my own, my imagination was endless and when one or both of my brothers joined in, it usually just turned into a wrestling match.  Now I have to be honest, I don't remember how it came to this, but my first recollection was John approaching me, nine iron in hand, wanting to play a game.  The next thing I remember is being backed down the side yard, fence to my right, fence leading to the back yard behind me, the house to my left, and right in front of me was something like this

Do you remember the scene where Chip the teacup fires up Maurice's wood chopping invention and charges down the hill to chop the cellar door to splinters?  My role in this scene was turning into that of the cellar door.  John would make a vertical swing with the nine iron at me, I would dexterously make a backwards dodge bringing me closer and closer to the fence.  He would pull the head of the club from the ground, advance and swing again.  The whole time I was pleading him to stop, after five or six swings he replied "Dan it's just a game!" and that next swing.....game over.  He connected with the very top of my head bringing me to my knees.  My vision wend blurry with tears, and I pressed my hands to my head, when I pulled my hands off to inspect they were red with blood, it dripped from my hair down my face, streaked down my arms form where my hands had been pressed on the wound.  To his credit, John ran in to the basement and retrieved for me a generous supply of...paper towels, four paper towels, to be exact.  And in brownie point preserving fashion implored me not to tell Mom.  Ensuring me we could clean everything up.....riiiight.  That would become the first of many scars to adorn my head, all with wonderful memories.

Maurice's machine. N.d. Photograph. Disney WikiWeb. 25 Aug 2013. <http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Maurice's_Machine?file=images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111203000802/disney/images/d/d9/Beauty-disneyscreencaps.com-8144.jpg>.

The Christmas Song That Was Forever Changed

One of the great things about sharing a blog with your brother is that there are a lifetime of stories to tell where both of us were involved.  Some stories change based on the point of view of the individual.  The following story really only has one point of view... and it was mortifying.

It had to have been the winter of 2003 because I was in my Junior year of high school.  A few days prior to the infamous event school had let out for the Christmas Holiday and I found myself at the computer one morning working on homework.  If you are shocked that I was working on homework during Christmas break please read the first two posts on this blog.  It's what I do.  I'm the Golden Child.  Anyway, I was anxiously engaged and making good progress toward finishing this project that was due at some point in the middle of January (I made a habit of turning in assignments early because, well... you know).  I had just finished a large portion of the project and I began to read over it again to see if it all made sense (of course, it did).

Now, as I remember it, I was sitting in the kitchen/dining room area where our computer was and I happened to be by myself; however, it is possible that our mother was in the living room knitting bandages for burn victims which would then be sent out in humanitarian kits.  Yeah, I know, she's great.  Regardless of who was in the vicinity, I would be the only victim.  My eyes were fixed to the screen as I heard a soft ruffling noise from down the hall.  Some nocturnal beast was stumbling from his bed and making his way toward the kitchen.  Knowing what I know now I would have given anything to have my eyes remain fixed to the screen. Alas...

As The Baby slowly lumbered down the hallway the prelude to the current song on our classic Christmas carols CD ended, but a new type of lewd was about to begin.  Never have more beautiful lyrics been followed by such an atrocity as Bing Crosby crooned "Said the night wind to the little lamb..."  and I glanced up to see my little brother turn on his heel, drop his shorts, bend over, and sing along, "...do you see what I see?!"  The grace of his heel turn and simultaneous pants drop was matched only by the effortless way in which he moved his bare bottom in quick counter-clockwise circles as he sang.  Like some kind of x-rated metronome he somehow kept perfect time. 

It was all over faster than it had begun.  "A star! A star! Dancing in the night!..." (ironic follow up lyrics) echoed in my head as my vision swam in front of me.  Four beats later he was gone.  Pants were once again on hips, the classic Christmas song (now forever changed) continued to play, he lumbered back down the hallway to bed, and life moved on for everyone... well, almost everyone (shudder).

The Baby

I need to apologize for not posting this earlier; however, my fingers were covered in chocolate after cashing in a few hundred brownie points (don't worry, I've got PLENTY) and I didn't want to get my keyboard sticky. 

Allow me to start off with a fact: Dan is really cool. No, he really is. It is, after all, much cooler in the shade than in the sun and Dan has spent over 20 years standing in my shadow. Dan is very, vey cool.

Dan came into our lives in the cold winter (shocking) of 1990, the 4th and final sibling in the Mosman bunch. Dan wasted little time grabbing the attention of all those around him. Most of our childhood home videos consist of Baby Dan lying on a blanket smiling at the camera (gag) and generally being much more cute than any of the rest of us. Granted, his competition wasn't great as the rest of us only found screen time in the form of photo bombs and the occasional crotch shot as we passed in front of the camera. Dan seemed to grow up very quickly and at a young age I remember thinking, "This kid is not afraid of anything." (He would be...) Dan would start conversations with adults and seemed to know a lot about everything - a trait he has kept with him his whole life. 

As we both got older Dan was faced with the constant pressure of living up to the lofty expectations set by yours truly. While I was gifted with natural ability (the natural ability to do ANYTHING), Dan was gifted with an unwavering drive to succeed. This drive to excel not only earned him the number one spot on my list of "Best Football Players I've Ever Seen" (also on the list are Sean Mosman, and although I've never seen the late Roy Mosman play I imagine that he was pretty great), but it propelled him to follow in my footsteps and win a state championship in the 110 meter hurdles.

Dan followed in my gold-plated footsteps and also served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in New York, NY where his out-going personality allowed him to learn and grow at an astounding rate. Like me he picked up the Spanish language quickly, but he had to work at it while I picked it up through just being awesome. I would read his e-mails every week and humbly think, "I taught his guy literally everything that he knows." 

Dan continues to grow into an outstanding guy and I continue to look down on him from my lofty seat in the VIP section of everyone's hearts. He works two jobs just to stay busy, excels in his classes, and runs track for Utah State University (I've been forced to gain a few pounds just to keep him in my shadow). He continues to use his drive to succeed in every aspect of his life.

While our "rivalry" has been described as "...like the rivalry between fire and kindling," or "not a contest" Dan has grown into one of my best, most fierce friends. He will undoubtedly continue his quest to be better than me, and that will be the ONLY thing that he will ever fail at. Ladies and gentlemen, The Baby.

From not so humble beginnings came a blessing

I have always wanted to start a blog, and it has been a combination of not knowing how, and lacking the motivation.  I seem to have found the motivation by co-founding this little claim of the internet with my brother (The Golden Child), oh I'll get to him later.  Right now I just want to give credit where it's due.  To my sister Jennie; the oldest of the bunch she encouraged me to enlist the help of the Golden Child himself to start this blog, so I thank her for the wonderful idea.  To my cousin Carver for starting your blog and reminding me of how much I wanted to start one myself.  Thanks to you both.  Now without delay, I will now introduce the lesser half of this blog writing team:

יוֹחָנָן

John is derived from the Hebrew name written above Yehochanan (do NOT ask me how to pronounce that).  It essentially means God is generous.  Ladies and gentlemen, what an honor.  This gracious gift was bestowed upon our little family sometime in September during the late 1980's and people have been loving him ever since, give me a break!  The light blue eyes that appeal to our Mother, the athletic ability that made him a favorite of our Dad.  Oh yes, he seemed to have it all.  I remember him winning his brownie points early on when he would sit on Mom's bed and read her the latest Harry Potter book to keep her up to date with the series.  How cute.  He then went on to make the varsity basketball team as a freshmen, so when the next year came around and I was in seventh grade the coach told me I made the "B" team and let me sit there, mortified, sweating, thinking of a place I could move away from home because I sure as heck wasn't going home after....oh just a joke, real funny coach, it's hard enough to follow John's act without your sick sense of humor.  John continued to play and excel in school and sports through our teenage years, opening some doors for me, annnd slamming some before I even got there (I'll tell you about our eighth grade science teacher later).  We both LOVE Track & Field, when I was in eighth grade I was so excited to be able to run on the same team as John the following year.  So much, that I told him my most recent times in the 100 meter dash to let him know how good of an asset I would be for the team, he laughed and said "Well that might win state, if you were a girl."  He decided to get his Eagle Scout, and from then on could do no wrong in our Mother's eyes.  He served an honorable mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Honduras Tegucigalpa where he, of course, had great success.  He came home looking like a skeleton, went to BYU-I "Do", got married to a beautiful young lady, and moved to Logan where he now is a manager at his job, just moved into a new townhouse AND has his second little girl on the way (and I'm sure the list goes on).  Now if that isn't picture perfect for a kid his age then I don't know what is, did I mention how good he is still doing in school?  His brownie points with Mom have gotten so out of control as to thwart any plot of demise from my "twin" sister (mentioned above) and me.  We all love him, securing his place in our hearts as:

The Golden Child